its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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