My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize