dude i'm inner monologue high
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
