By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
As shirtless as possible
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
