Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I have tasted many bathrooms
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize