dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
