Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
