tell your sister to shave her snatch
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
