My brain says no but my pants say off.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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