i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We need to get me chipped asap
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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