we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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