I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
