Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
