In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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