you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
