Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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