Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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