i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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