he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Be still, my beating vagina.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
