I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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