That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
