Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
