He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
