It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
