You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
