I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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