Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
COCAINE IS GR8
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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