Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
