i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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