Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
