in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
