sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
