I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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