So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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