i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize