Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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