Don't you send me to vm
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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