I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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