Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
