Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
