nut hugger
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
