we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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