About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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