just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
