Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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