You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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