Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
