Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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