Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
