Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
