Dude my mom stole all your condoms
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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