4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
