So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
even my farts smell like vagina
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
