she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
