this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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