New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
