That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
