My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
