I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I forgot wine drunk hurts
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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