He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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