normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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