his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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