I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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