I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My brain says no but my pants say off.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I party with great urgency now.
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