That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
