Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
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you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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