There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
