It's a beautiful day for a hangover
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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