just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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