So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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