it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
