i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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