i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
