Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
